Under the Sakuras
by slurpie97
Summary: If only I didn't leave, would you have given me your heart? It pains me to see you with him, but I know that you have a good reason to have thrown my heart away. Into the darkness, and gone forever.


_If only I didn't leave that time._

"Well guys…" Amy said, pure ecstasy and happiness on her face. Her jade green eyes shone even brighter than before. She grinned the widest since I've met her. And wholeheartedly, I knew it's not all forced like before. She's happy that everyone is safe, that we've all managed to outwit the Vespers. And now that they're down, they'll be smart to stay away. _For now._

Everyone was leaving, the noisy manor silencing with every car that disappeared. The Holts were the first to go, with Hamilton announcing that he'll hold up a sports festival at their place for the annual Cahill reunion. Madison growled and seconded her brother's plan. Reagan laughed, her fingers intertwined with Ted Starling's. They had surprisingly grown to be _more than friends _during their traumatic event and are now developing into a stable relationship. Sinead leaned on the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest and a wide smile on her face. Hamilton caught sight of her and he ran back to the mansion, wrapped his arms around her feet and twirled her around. She laughed, and as Hamilton put her down, no evidence of frustration that he is leaving could be seen on her face. Ned bid Madison farewell, and the latter blushed.

Jonah waved goodbye to everyone, gave Dan a pack of his limited edition action figures, and handed Nellie a copy of his unreleased album. He neared Amy and wrapped her in the tightest hug he had ever given anyone. He told her how much he'll miss her, and how she is the best cousin he's ever had. He promised that he'll mention her in his songs in the future as a tribute. He left singing a _sample _of his new music, Phoenix trailing after him. Phoenix had refused to let go of Nellie but when Jonah mentioned that they'll be meeting with Adele, the mini-version of Jonah Wizard grudgingly let go of his newfound favorite person.

Ned and Ted then took their turns. They said goodbye to the Cahills, embraced their sister, and promised that when they see each other again, they'll wear their brown khaki shorts and white Harvard University t-shirts. They were off to Japan with Alistair Oh for their operations. Alistair Oh also had left.

The only people on the porch were the Kabras, Cahills, Sinead Starling, the au pair, and Atticus and I. Ian stepped forward and announced that since he was already enrolled in the university there, he will be finishing his studies in the said institution. Natalie refused to leave her brother's side, and so, they stayed in the United States.

I had my head down. I told them that I'll be flying over to Germany, where I'll finish _my _studies. They have a magnificent nuclear science university there and I wish to take on that challenge. But if I chose Medicine, Massachusetts houses the legendary St. Luke's Medical Academy. I chose between the two, and Amy pleaded with me to stay. I looked over at Atticus and he shrugged, the words _Amy is here _floating in his eyes. I shook my head and told them that I must go, or I'll miss my flight. An expression of sadness darkened Amy's face. As she hugged me, she held on for far too long for a friendly embrace. I inhaled the smell of lavender from her hair then stepped back as she finally released me. I told her words of assurances that I'll be going to the family reunions, Atticus and I. She shakily nodded, her jaw quivering.

As they slowly shrank into dots, I felt cold liquids rush down my cheeks.

_I know that we were not just friends back then. On the quest for your relatives, you had leaned on me for support, you put your full trust in me, and you let me handle many things. I would be lying if I said that you didn't give me your heart._

And now, as I stand here at the punch table, I listen to my heart break to pieces as I watch her dance with him. The dim lights fully emphasize her shimmering gown of emeralds and diamonds. When she twirls around, her long train of reddish brown hair twirls along with her. Even from such a distance, I could still see the happiness in her eyes, the feeling of contentment, and peace. Just when I am about to leave, I have a sudden need to see who she is dancing with. I want him to turn around, and maybe just a glance at his face will help me identify the man who, it seems, she has given your heart to. When he _does_ turn around, I see an oblong face, almond eyes, a long, straight nose, and a golden sun-tanned complexion.

Ian Kabra.

The presto of the orchestra soon dies down and turns into an andante. The familiar sound of a Mozart starts to play and the dancers sway to a slow dance. I see her head leaning down on his shoulder, and both of her arms wrapped around his neck. He put his arms around her waist possessively, as if frightened that someone will come and sweep her away. It took every bit of sanity left in me to not do that one thing.

Once she finally breaks away with him because she needs to sit down, I make my move. I walk to her in long strides, sitting down beside her at her table.

She looks at me and a smile dominated her face. "Jake!"

I try to smile back. "Amy," I then swallow, words colliding against one another in my mind. "How are you?"

"I'm amazing. I've never felt so normal before in my whole life," she replies.

She watched the people still on the dance floor. I see Dan tapping Ian's shoulder who was dancing with Natalie. Ian stepped back, and Dan resumes his position with the girl. Sinead and Hamilton are in the corner of the dance floor, Hamilton keeping his eyes down, wary not to step on Sinead's feet. Nellie is dancing with Phoenix, and even though he is about a foot shorter, she seems to enjoy it.

"Did anything happen that I should know of?" I ask with a grim tone.

She seems to have noticed this and her shoulders slump. "I think Dan likes Natalie," she says. "Since he sees her everyday at school. And even though they fight."

_Since he sees her everyday at school._

"You're studying at Massachusetts University?" I ask.

She nods.

"And Kabra at St. Luke's Medical Academy?"

She nods again.

I know that these two schools are only a stone's throw from one another, and the scenario is probably that Amy and Ian walk to school and home together. I don't know what hurts more, the silence, or the tone of her voice which seems to be saying, _You had your chance_. I want to ask her if any feelings for me is still lingering in her, or if these she had already directed to the _Cobra_.

"Amy, would you like to dance?" Ian asks her, completely unaware of my presence.

"Oh," Amy said. She looks at me and I give her a nod. "Of course."

She slips her arm through his and he put his hand over hers gently. He finally notices me and he smiles that cocky Kabra grin which I detest so much. "Jake Rosenbloom," he says with very obvious fake politeness. "It is nice to see you once again."

I smile back, the muscles in my jaw threatening to turn my greeting into a smirk. "Good evening, Ian Kabra."

I can't say that it's nice to see him again. As much as I hate to admit it, this must be the feeling of jealousy. Such a surprising feeling. All my life, I have had women throwing themselves on me, to just get my attention. But now, I want to do anything just to get this one woman back, to call her mine once again, because she still has my heart.

She, however, seems to have given hers to another.

I stand up from the table and walk to where Ian and Amy are dancing. I tap Ian's shoulder and ask if I can dance with her. He nods, bows, and turns away to Hamilton who needs to give Sinead a break.

Amy again smiles at me, but I notice that her smile at Ian was far more radiant than this one. I shake the thought away, thinking that at least she still pays attention to me.

"Let's go outside," I tell her.

She looks at me confusingly but soon agrees. I offer my hand to her and she accepts. We walk out of the ballroom and into the beautiful garden being owned by the Kabras. The further we walk, the more peaceful the landscape is. Explosions of roses are everywhere, with benches situated here and there underneath large canopy trees. The ground is matted with dried leaves, and we laugh at the _crunch _every time we step on them.

We then find a white marble gazebo overridden by vines and flowers. We walk to it, and see a table with roses and lighted candles. I pull a chair for her, and she shakes her head. She goes to the rail, puts her hand on it, and deeply inhale the warm air. I smile to myself as I remember that she is not yet used to the elegance she so rightly deserves. She still prefers her humble and _poor _situation, just as she was before she and her brother won the Clue hunt. The only difference between now and then is that they have four million dollars sitting in their bank account.

I approach her. "I figured you wanted to sit."

She smiles. "How can you sit when you know that you'll be missing _this _view?"

I nod and truly, what a sight the Kabra garden is! Even in the darkness, you can still make its beauty out. Paper lamps are placed at certain parts, not too few nor too many. There are blossoming _sakura _trees around, their pink flowers matting the ground. There is also a pond nearby, with a bridge over it. It is Japanese-themed, for the younger Cahill had requested for it to be so. It is very beautiful on a September night, with the air at just a right temperature and carrying with it such a pleasant odor.

"Yes," I say. "How could I miss _this _view?"

I am looking at her, her hair flaming in the darkness, and her emerald dress complimenting her body, showing off her figure and her graceful posture. She is taller and more slender than when I had last seen her, last year. She is staring into the distance, on her face a beautiful smile, one which paled when compared to her smile when she is with Ian. When I talked, she turned to me, with a look of confusion. I sadly smiled at her, and she seems to have gotten the message because she blushed.

"Amy," I call, and she raises her head to lock her glinting jade eyes with my mud-splotched ones. "During that Vesper madness…Did you think of me just as a friend?"

She freezes for a while, her expression blank and pale. She faintly shakes her head, and mutter, "I didn't."

My stomach does a somersault, and my heart sinks when I realize that she had said _didn't. _"So now, I'm just a friend to you?"

She nods.

The shards of my heart break into even tinier pieces. Right then, I wanted to pound Kabra for having stayed with her when I was a coward to not have done so. If he didn't, I would maybe still have a chance with her. "You like Ian Kabra?"

I said it in such a cold tone that I notice her shudder. This must be hard on her, being confronted by the person who left her when she had pleaded with him not to leave. When she had _asked _him to stay with her because she started to feel something for him after their quests together.

"I-I didn't mean to.." she stammers.

I pinch myself for frightening her. _When did I turn into such a jerk? _I know I've been a jerk to numerous more girls before but this time, it feels very different. I actually feel _guilty _for leaving. But maybe it's because this is also the first time I have been in pursuit of a woman, and this woman is not like any other. Maybe that's why I want her to be mine.

"Jake," she says, stepping closer to me. "What we had last year, they were all so real for me."

Flashbacks come to me. Scenes of when she had held onto my hand; when we had embraced on the balcony when she found out I was safe; when she cried out my name when she saw me in pain; and moments of weaknesses when I begged her not to leave me. These memories had haunted me ever since that last hug before I left.

"I dreamt of them every single night and I found myself screaming your name," she had moved so quick, the distance between us almost nonexistent. I watch her cherry red lips form every word, and the pain in her eyes was all that restrained me from pulling her into a kiss. "I _liked _you, Jake. I really did. " Tears are now streaming down her cheeks, her make-up getting destroyed. "I wanted you so much. Even more than I wanted Evan."

I bite my lower lip, and feel it tremble. Seeing her so sad threatened my reputation as a man to topple down and disappear forever. I wanted to _cry_. To cry just as I did the year before when I left her. To curl up somewhere and just bawl my eyes out. That must be punishment enough. _No_. It still is not enough. To step into an acid bath and feel all my body hair just drop out, then run around in the streets naked with my name on a placard in front of my chest. Now _that _is enough.

I brush her bangs away from her forehead as she hiccupped and sobbed. "When you left, I felt the weight of the whole world drop on my shoulders and I wanted to disappear. I was broken for weeks." She firmly holds my gaze, and her pale eyes said all they needed to say. "For weeks, no one could talk to me about a decent topic. I refused to eat. I refused to study. I didn't know why, though. I thought I was overreacting, and I felt too numb to do anything about it!" she exclaims. "Maybe it was the feeling of pain of having the person I truly cared for leave me _again._"

At that, I truly felt the rage for myself boil inside of me. I know about all her loved ones leaving her, either by death, or betrayal. It's all just too much, and I had to add to the mess. I burst up from the middle of nowhere, reported them to Interpol and turned them to the Most Wanted Fugitives, helped them, had her fall for me, then break her heart. Very cliché for a soap opera. But in soap operas, all the endings turn out to be good.

And this drama had been happening for centuries long to be a petty soap opera.

My pride as a gentleman drifted away completely. I feel very naked, so exposed to the wrath of the devil. And I would welcome him, go with him to the pits of hell unresisting, and willing.

I cup her cheeks and lean down, capturing her inviting lips with mine. I feel her gasp, and she grabs my arms. I pull back an inch to see if she would push me away. Instead, with her green orbs, she mutters my name, breathes it, and that did it. I kiss her with all the passion I had reserved this past year. All my sadness, frustration, and disappointment were channeled to her through that one action. I put one hand on the small of her back and pushed her to me, her arms clinging onto my suit. Unexpectedly then, she kisses me back, opening her lips and welcoming my tongue. We explore each others' mouths, knowing and remembering that this would have been us if I hadn't left that fateful day.

Soon, I could taste salty water and it took me a second to realize that it is her tears. I break away, gasping for air. With her hands fisting the collar of my tuxedo, she cries into my chest, both of my arms wrapped tightly around her and my lips on her head.

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

She shakes her head. "I liked you, Jake. I like Ian now."

"I know," I grudgingly say. "I just had to do that. Because for me, that feeling never went away."

I use my thumb to wipe the tears away from the corner of her eyes. "Now you can get over me."

_And I over you._ I think.

I don't say it aloud because I know that I never will be able to do that, and I can't afford to break yet another promise. She, though, nodded, and a faint smile appeared on her bruised lips.

She is beautiful, even when she is a wreck. She is a goddess when she is fixed up. Yes. When she'll forget me, she'll be back to her old, radiant self. And if she is happy, so am I. But I still can' help thinking how lucky Kabra is for being the one who owns her heart. At least he has the ability to see her thousand watt smile anytime of the day, and now, I am most certain that that man is less capable of breaking her heart than I.

_Oh how I wish to be him._

* * *

**Please review! And please read my other story "The Aftermath"!**


End file.
